Attachment is the emotion that bonds us with people whom we love. When a child is born, his first attachment is with his parents, particularly towards his mother as she is the person who looks after his needs and cares for him. According to John Bowlby, a psychologist who is the pioneer of the attachment theory, attachment is a lasting psychological connectedness between human beings. He concentrated on studying the attachment that children have with their parents or primary caregivers. He found that the form of attachment that the child has with his caregivers stays with him for the entire lifetime and influences his relationship with other people in his life. Secured attachment between parents and children are formed when the child is provided with an environment where he feels protected and cared for. Read more .
Forms of Attachment
Bowlby's attachment theory was taken a step further by the studies of Mary Ainsworth through her works known as 'Strange Situations'. According to the research conducted by Ainsworth, she developed three forms of attachment, mainly secure attachment, ambivalent-insecure attachment and avoidant-insecure attachment. Another form of attachment was later added by researchers, Main and Solomon which was called the disorganized-insecure attachment. As per Ainsworth's findings, children who develop secured attachment with their parents are those who do not feel threatened or scared when they leave them for a short period of time. These children trust their caregivers and know that they will return to them. This trust is developed by the parents, who give the children reassurance and comfort that they need during the time of distress. When this is not received by the kids, some kind of insecurity develops in the them. One of them is the avoidant attachment where the child avoids his parents because he does not receive the comfort and assurance that he needs. Let us try to know more about the characteristics of avoidant attachment which is also known as anxious avoidant attachment. Read more on .
Avoidant Attachment Disorder in Children
A child is said to develop an avoidant attachment style when the parents or caregivers are not available when the child needs them. This feeling is developed when he feels that his parents are rejecting him. The parents may not do this on purpose, but with the purpose of making the child independent before age. Sometimes, one of the parents may himself or herself be suffering from this problem of insecure attachment, making him/her behave in the same way. For instance, the child is hurt and runs to one of the parents. Rather than assuring him and trying to make him quite, he/she may say that 'you should not cry because you are a big boy' or may be try to scold him by saying that he/she had warned her not to do a particular thing. If such instances happens frequently and the child is punished when he seeks reassurance from his caregivers, the child will realize that he cannot depend on the parents when he is suffering from some discomfort or has any problem. Due to this, he begins to avoid them and ignores them even when he sees them after some time of separation. Children who form avoidant attachment interact with strangers in the same way as they do with their parents. Read more on .
Avoidant Attachment Disorder in Adults
It is a known fact that whatever we see and experience in our initial years affects our attitude and personality in our adult life. In the same way, a child who forms avoidant attachment in his formative years, carries it with him into his adult life. Though Bowlby and Ainsworth focused on the attachment patterns of children, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver applied this to adult romantic relationships. According to them, adults who suffer from avoidant attachment disorder face problems in forming intimate or romantic relationships. These people do not think much about emotional bonding and find it difficult to create a trustful relationship with another person. They do not like the feeling of having to depend on others and also the concept of someone else being dependent on them. Most of them do not feel the need to form close and permanent relationships, and hence do not experience any remorse or regret when they have to undergo a relationship breakup. There are high chances that such people may lean towards as well as indulge in casual sex. Another characteristic of an adult who has avoidant attachment disorder is that he will never share his inner feelings, emotions and thoughts with his partners. Also, while in a relationship, they will not be able to support and reassure their partners during trying and stressful situations.
